We've all become used to lying to ourselves. We dont do this consciously but most of us do it and its common psychological process. In order to avoid seeing reality as it truly is, people imagine an alternative one that is better. It is a tactic used to avoid feeling guilt and accepting responsibility or even just to hide an irrational reaction to an event. The What Are You Avoiding? Spread is designed to help the Querent to recognise the motivations behind their 'lie' so that they are better equipped to face reality.
It is rare for a Querent to specifically ask to discuss this topic. In most cases, it will be the Reader who suggests this Spread when they realise that a Querent is lying to themselves. This is most likely to happen with a regular client or someone the Reader knows well. It may also, more rarely, come up as a factor in discussion with a new Querent before a reading. This Spread can also simply be a fresh way of doing a reading. In this last case, it is recommended that both the Reader adn Querent take the reading lightly, without expecting it to reveal highly complex unconscious dynamics.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
People are pretty good at telling themselves stories. They can even convince themselves that they are so real that they focus all their energy and attention on them. HOwever, in time, reality and the real issue that needs to be faced will break through and torment their conscience. As they're convinced that the story they invented is true, it can be very hard to accept reality.
This Spread helps the Wuerent to become aware of the real story and understand why it is preferable to the one they have invented. It also reveals the true issues that they are experiencing, as well as showing how they imagine the story might end and the likely outcome.
All this information can help the Querent to face their underlying issues and continue on their journey in a more advantageous fashion. While helping the Querent to change the way they see things, the Reader can also explore their unconscious motivations and offer solutions.
Preparation
The Reader and Querent take turns to shuffle the deck. The former draws the cards from the top of the deck and lays them out in the correct positions for the Spread. The first, second, fourth and fifth cards are laid out facing upwards, while the third, sixth and seventh are placed facing down.
Reading and Interpreting
The Reader interprets the cards in each position, bearing in mind the respective significance of these positions.
First of all, they should interpret the first and second cards. Before turning over and interpreting the third card, the Reader should ask the Querent, 'What do you think the outcome of the story might be?' Then the fourth and fifth cards are interpreted. Before revealing and interpreting the sixth card, the Reader should again ask the Querent, 'What do you think the outcome of the story might be?' After interpreting the first six cards, it is time for the seventh, but again, the Reader should first ask the question, 'What do you think the outcome of the story might be?' After interpreting all of the cards, the Reader summarises the whole reading in one go in a synthesis that will help the Querent.
The Story - This card represents the fantasy that the Querent has invented in their life. It could be a symptom of the problem they do have but not the problem itself. The Reader should encourage the Querent to find a parallel between their own beliefs about an issue, situation or event and the interpretation of this card.
Why They Prefer It - This card represents the reason why they invented the story in the first place. Its interpretation helps them to understand if the story is a symptom of a deeper problem, an unimportant escape from reality or an exaggeration motivated by the impulse to dramatise events (an attitude that can lead people to see problems where there are none).
The Imagined Outcome - This card represents what the Querent imagines will happen. In other words, it is the outcome to the situation that would happen if it were really as they imagined. In some ways, this card tends to represent what the Querent would like to happen in reality. It is important to compare this card with the next outcome card, that is the card placed in position number 6.
The Reality - This card represents what the Querent is avoiding. In essence, it is the crux of the problem. By comparing this card ith card number 1 and highlighting the differences, you can obtain a very precise idea of what the Querent is trying to avoid. It is important to be especially careful to interpret the card with tact.
Why Are They Avoiding It - This card represents the reason why the Querent is avoiding reality. This enables the Reader to identify the source of their fears and the aspects that worry them the most. The card also needs to be interpreted considering the Querent's feelings.
The Imagined Outcome - This card represents what the Querent imagines will happen. In other words, it is how the situation could end in the Querent's opinion, once they have accepted the truth. As the Querent doesn't want to see this solution, it is very likely that it is unpleasant or negative from them in some way.
The Likely Outcome - This care represents the likely result of the situation. Generally, it is not the worst-case scenario. It could be an unpleasant event, or on the contrary, something unexpectedly good, but it is not usually as bad as the Querent imagines. This card is used to help the QUerent see the truth, showing them a solution that does not force them to lie to themselves or be influenced by fear and insecurities.
Synthesis
People tell themselves stories or convince themselves of something that is not real in order to avoid difficult and delicate situations. Their psyche is avoiding the truth for a specific reason and they might even resort to this strategy for prolonged periods of time.
However, the time will come when they need to face the truth and this is when the Reder should intervene skillfully and tactfully. When comparing the 'story' with the 'reality', it is important to work out what type of link connects them. These two cards in fact refer to the same thing, but examined from two different angles: the perspective of the 'story' feels forced and unnatural, while the 'reality' is more balanced.
Another two cards to compare are 'Why they prefer it' and ' Why they are avoiding it'. Could these two sides of the same coin? Are they basically the same thing and the only difference is the degree of intensity? Do they seem to be unrelated to each other? Usually, the first card indicates a nice situation that the Querent wants to experience, while the second indicates a danger they want to escape.
However, the opposite can occur. For example, an insecure Querent might choose a negative view of events, even if this makes them feel worse. The Reader must then turn their attention to the two cards that represent the imagined outcome of the story. In this case, they should consider how the cards differ from each other and what they have in common. These two cards can help the Querent to reflect on whether it is really necessary to lie to themselves or if it would be better to accept a truer version of the facts. To help the Querent see the problem, the Reader can play with the position of the cards. For example, they could try to see what happens when they swap these two cards, asking the Querent what they think of this new sequence.
Finally, it is important to compare the last card with cards 3 and 6. It is likely that the outcome of the 'story' and the outcome of the 'reality' are extreme opposites of this final card. As often happens, the truth can be found in the middle. Before turning each outcome card over, the reader asked the Querent: 'What do you think the outcome of the story might be?' This question helps the Querent to see the story as the result of their unconscious mind and not the true reality. It helps them to open their mind and be receptive to the interpretation of each of the outcome cards.
Dealing With Avoidance
Take Advantage of the Unspoken
A Querent may not ask the question that lies deep in their heart either because of unconscious reasons or out of shyness or embarrassment
A Querent who asks, 'Is my boyfriend cheating on me?' has probably discovered or strongly suspects betrayal.
A Querent who asks, 'Is this a good time to look for a new job?' is likely to be having a hard time at their current place of employment. A reading aimed at overcoming this frustration is likely to be what they really need.
A Querent who asks, 'How can I help things go more smoothly in my life?' may in fact need to address a past issue that is preventing them from moving forwards.
A conflict that emerges between the question asked and the answer offered by the Tarot is best handled by a deep analysis of the situation. In addition to going to the heart of the problem, an in-depth analysis may include aspects of the situation not considered because of the limitations of one's point of view.
The What Are You Avoiding? Spread is an ideal way to explore such issues.
The Elephant and the Cat in the Room
A Tarot Reader who is working with a client with an obvious unspoken issue may find themselves confronted with a huge 'elephant' in the room. The elephant in this instance is a major issue that the Querent is avoiding or a problem they are completely unaware of in their conscious mind.
For example, it may be obvious the Querent is in love with someone they refer to as 'just a friend'. Perhaps, they blame a partner for a mistake that they themselves have made.
At times, however, it is better for the Reader to side-step and overlook the obvious elephant and focus instead on the 'cat. The cat represents a smaller, more manageable topic relating to the main elephant issue.
Working in this way, the Reader may take a gentler and less forceful approach that does not trigger guilt, confusion or any other common defence mechanisms.
Lessons From 1001 Nights
One Thousand and One Nights is a famous collection of Middle Eastern folk tales.
Also known as the Arabian Nights, it includes the story of Scheherazade who marries the Sultan Shahriar. The Sultan believes all women are evil, untrustworthy creatures. He marries a woman only to have her killed the next morning so that she has no opportunity to betray him. Clever Scheherazade weaves fabulous stories and tales each night to avoid being murdered. Entranced by her stories, the Sultan keeps her alive so that he can hear more. Scheherazade has a real and specific threat to avoid. Her stories serve an excellent purpose.
In contrast, people often tell stories to themselves and others to avoid things they don't want to face. Denied issues are usually not as pressing as certain death. People avoid situations they don't want to face because they are too difficult or painful. Sometimes the imagined outcome is so bad, it is delayed at all costs.
We can easily convince ourselves that the story we've told is real, and we put all our energy and focus into maintaining that fiction. The real story and deep-seated issues will keep trying to rise up into the conscious mind but, being so convinced that the invented story is real, we can no longer hear and see reality.
Scheherazade tells her stories by using different storytelling devices, making them enjoyable and effective. This Spread also uses storytelling techniques, inviting the Querent to participate and involve their own imagination, so they become more invested in the reading. The Reader makes it easier for the Querent to access their unconscious thoughts and see more possibilities by helping them to shift into a different mindset.
Updated
1 January 2025 at 15:40:54
Key Information
Number of Cards: Seven
Cards Used: Major and Minor Arcana
Objective: To help the Querent identify the real problem and understand how they have avoided facing it.
Layout: Six cards are laid out in two vertical columns of three cards and a final card is placed horizontally at the top.
Example Reading
Our Querent, Liz is a young woman who is nearly 30. In the past couple of years she has started to put on weight, and has become unfit. She has tried everything to loose weight, by following various diets and going to the gym. Nothing has worked and, everytime, Liz has becom disheartened and quickly fallen back into old habits.
It is important to remember the Reader will hve no idea of teh nature of the truth Liz is having trouble accpeting and what stories she has conconted in order to hide a significant issue to her self.
The Story
Eight of Swords - Limits, Paralysis
The Eight of Swords is the Story
Liz's weight problem is what is keeping her trapped and stopping her from moving forwards. The story that Liz tells herself is that if she solves her weight problem all her other problems will go away. It is the fault of the solutions she's tried that she has failed so far.
Why They Prefer It
Page of Swords - Apprenticeship, Eagerness
The Page of Swords Indicates Why She Prefers It
Liz keeps trying new possible solutions an when they fail (or when she loses interest in them), she moves on to something else, convincing herself that there is always a new diet or exercise regime that might be better.
The Imagined Outcome
Ace of Swords - Power, Discipline
The Ace of Swords Symbolises The Imagined Outcome
If Liz keeps going down new paths, she will eventually find one that really does manage to solve all her problems. In fact, the story seems to indicate that the reason for her inability to lose weight needs to be looked at in terms of the ways in which she has tried to lose weight so far, which have been the wrong ones.
The Reality
Seven of Wands - Opposition, Defence
The Seven of Wands represents the Reality
It s interesting t note how this card shows that Liz is not avoiding just one problem but many. In fact, it seems that she often feels attacked and oppressed by different aspects of daily life.
Why They Are Avoiding It
Knight of Pentacles - Realism, Pragmatism
The Knight of Pentacles Suggests Why She's Avoiding It
Managing to face the stresses of life effectively requires a lot of attention and patience. Liz is constantly monitoring these stresses without interest or stimulation and trying new things, in the hope of finding the magical solution that guarantees happiness. To summarise, Liz transfers a lot of other anxieties and disappointments in life onto her weight problem, giving her false hope that she can solve everything with one solution.
The Imagined Outcome
Nine of Pentacles - Richness, Education
The Nine of Pentacles is the Imagined Outcome
If Liz were able to face her daily problems, her life (or at least so she believes) would be practically perfect. Her faith in it would help her to build a great life. Basically, a thin Liz would mean a perfect Liz?
The Likely Outcome
XI Justice - Justice, Law
Justice Presents the Likely Outcome
If Liz faced up to and accepted the stresses she encounters, her life would be more harmonious and balanced. If she paid the right amount of attention to matters she needs to sort out, there would be fewer complications in her life. Separating her weight problem from other problems might allow Liz to solve one thing at a time, effectively enabling her to progress.
Synthesis
The Reader should compare the cards from the 'Story' and the 'Reality'. Both show very different situations: in one the figure is passive, while in the other is active. Liz eats more than she should do in order to combat her daily stress levels and this is a passive reaction. By focusing on her weight (a symptom), she is avoiding adopting an active attitude, that is taking care of those boring daily tasks that wuld help to structure her life and make things work better.
The Reader also needs to compare the cards in the positions 'Why they prefer it' and 'Why thy are avoiding it'. WHile the Page of Swords is full of enthusiasm, the Knight of Pentacles is quite boring. Liz also tends to avoid paying attention to the choices she has made and their consequences (Justice). These are not as interesting as the prospect of trying all the new possibilities (Page of Swords).
Comparing the three cards from the 'Conclusions', it is clear that one shows a kind of unexpected solution, while the other two emphasise the idea of personal responsibility. By looking for one almost miraculous solution to all her problems (Ace of Swords), Liz is avoiding solving or facing a number of small issues (Seven of Wands). Plus, the idea of finding one magical answer to her problems means that she is not taking responsibility for finding a solution herself (Nine of Pentacles).